Yesterday I began a 5-part conversation about a critical part of leadership (communication) and a specific type of leadership conversation I call Aligning Conversations. Just to review, I defined an Aligning Conversation as,
A conversation that serves to nudge or redirect the path of someone you are leading in order to keep them performing in a way that increases organizational effectiveness.
Aligning Conversations can be difficult conversations you have with someone you lead where you redirect them. Perhaps they are underperforming, going slightly off direction, or just need a bit of a tune up. When is the best time to have an aligning conversation? On a regular basis. If you wait until the wheels are falling off to step in and align, you’ve got bigger problems than an alignment! It’s in these conversations that you as a leader have a great opportunity to speak truth to those you lead, and you can do it in a way that sharpens them, helps them stay laser-focused on the mission, and allows them to feel not only a sense of dignity, but also a renewed vigor about doing well for the sake of the organization.
With all that being said, I want to share the first of 4 elements that can lead to a successful aligning conversation. Follow these (and in this order) and watch how positive the outcome can be.
Celebrate
The first step to having healthy aligning conversations is to CELEBRATE. This step is one of the most critical yet most often the one that is neglected. This is the part of the conversation where you celebrate the positive things you see in them and what they are doing. Beginning by celebrating can mean the difference between them receiving what you have to correct and them shutting down (and you getting more frustrated). And the reality is, most of us do not do a good job of regularly celebrating the good we see in those we are leading (I know I could stand to do this more!). Suffice it to say, the person who has the greatest ability to influence those you lead through celebrating what they are doing well is you. You have the ability to add wind to their sails or strip the mast from their ship, and beginning a conversation by celebrating what they are doing well can be so powerful at setting the tone. So how do you do it?
First, take some time and think through what they are doing well. It will help you balance your impression of them so that you’re not just focusing on the shortcomings, and that will help you guide the conversation in a healthy way. Second, begin the conversation with these things in mind, and really set them up to know that you see value in them as a person, in their contribution to the organization, and that you pay attention to more than just their mistakes (they are human, remember!). Don’t be ambiguous… use concrete statements here (“I’ve noticed that you did a great job on xyz, and I want you to know I appreciate that! I’ve also seen how you led well on abc, and that’s a win for us because of…”). Third, use positive body language that reinforces what you are saying (try smiling!). This is not a time to simply gloss over this part to get to the meat of the conversation- this is a time to genuinely show your appreciation for what they are doing well. Trust me, it will pay off big-time when it’s time to work through the difficult things.
I can promise that if you do a good job of celebrating strengths and successes, people you lead won’t mind being aligned. They’ll be glad for it, actually. Having set the tone for the conversation with celebrating, tomorrow we’ll dive into the hard part: aligning. I’ll give you some helpful tips for getting things back on track in a way that is a win for both you and the person you are leading.
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