Killing Cockroaches Review…

I’ve followed Tony Morgan‘s writing for quite some time now, from the Simply Strategic books (fantastic) and his blog as well. I love that Tony is obviously a very intellectual guy but also deeply practical in his approach to life and ministry, and his writing shows it! It makes everything he writes easy to take and internalize and apply immediately. Killing Cockroaches is one of those books you could crack open at any point and start reading and you’ll immediately be putting the nuggets of truth you’re learning into action. This book is laid out much like an encyclopedia or dictionary- it’s alphabetized by title and features short articles about each particular topic. If you’ve read the Simply Strategic books, you’ll love the short nuggets of truth you get. This is the type of book any leader could pick up and read 3-5 entries a day to help stay focused on the important, big-picture items of church leadership.

Here are some of my favorite quotes/thoughts from the book…

•  ”It’s amazing the kind of grief you get when your sole purpose is simply to point people to Jesus.” (11)
• “We learned long ago that to try to make everyone happy, you have to be comfortable with mediocrity. It’s a place where there are few critics. It’s also a place where few people have become really passionate about ministry and their relationships with Christ.” (11)
•  Tony loves to make lists- they are throughout the book, from 10 Easy Ways to Make Church Services More Boring (my favorite), 10 Things I’ll Remember after Experiencing Disney, to 10 Signs You’re Not A Rock Star.
• “For me, hearing stories of the real pain in others’ lives increases my sense of urgency. It helps me realize there’s no such thing as “normal.” It forces me to become more intentional about how I interact with people.” (194)
• Speaking of Starbucks, he says, “we complain about and try to discredit the ministry of churches that are approaching 40,000 people while this company (that’s just trying to sell more coffee) is trying to open 40,000 unique locations.  Aren’t we thinking too small?” (207).  This article is probably worth the price of the whole book.

Tony effectively discusses leadership, family, communication, marketing, and best practices in a way that is easily approachable and grasped. His mixture of “smarts” combined with practical application and his humility and candidness make this an extremely engaging read. You may not agree with every idea he has, but he does an excellent job at getting leaders to think through what they do and make sure they are focused on the right things!

Go buy your copy of “Killing Cockroaches” today here… and if you’re not already following his blog, you can catch it here.

 

A prayer for our Church…

I posted this a year or two ago and ran across it tonight.  It was such a powerful prayer for me, I thought I’d dig it out and post it again.  

This is from John Piper’s book, “Taste and See” and is called “A Prayer for Our Church”. I’d love to hear your thoughts…

A Prayer for our Church

Oh, Lord, by the truth of Your Word, and the power of your Spirit and the ministry of your body, build men and women at (name of your church here)…

Who don’t love the world more than God,

who don’t care if they make much money,

who don’t care if they own a house,

who don’t care if they have a new car or two cars,

who don’t need recent styles, 

who don’t care if they get famous,

who don’t miss steak or fancy fare,

who don’t expect that life should be comfortable and easy,

who don’t feed their minds on TV each night, 

who don’t measure truth with their finger in the wind,

who don’t get paralyzed by others’ disapproval,

who don’t return evil for evil,

who don’t hold grudges,

who don’t gossip,

who don’t twist the truth,

who don’t brag or boast,

who don’t whine or use body language to get pity,

who don’t criticize more than praise,

who don’t hang out in cliques,

who don’t eat too much or exercise too little;

BUT

who are ablaze for God,

who are utterly God-besotted,

who are filled with the Holy Spirit,

who strive to know the height and depth of Christ’s love,

who are crucified to the world and dad to sin,

who are purified by the Word and addicted to righteousness,

who are mighty in memorizing and using the Scriptures,

who keep the Lord’s Day holy and refreshing,

who are broken by the consciousness of sin,

who are thrilled by the wonder of free grace,

who are stunned into humble silence by the riches of God’s glory,

who are persevering constantly in prayer,

who are ruthless in self-denial,

who are fearless in public witness to Christ’s lordship,

who are able to unmask error and blow away doctrinal haze,

who are tough in standing for the truth,

who are tender in touching hurting people,

who are passionate about reaching the peoples who have no church,

who are pro-life for the sake of babies and moms and dads and the glory of God,

who are keepers of all their promises, including marriage vows,

who are content with what they have and trusting the promises of God,

who are patient and kind and meek when life is hard.

 

5 Questions With John Atkinson Pt. 5

All week we’ve been discussing concepts of relational leadership with John Atkinson.  Some of you are probably nuts by now, asking the question: “Okay, how do I do it?”  Well, I wanted to finish this portion of our discussion by having John share some practical tips for you!  You can read the other posts in this series here:  introduction, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Question #5: Can you give us some examples or practical ways a leader can invest  relationally in their team leaders?

John’s Response:

·       Positive verbal affirmation is critical to Relational Leadership. People need to know that what they are doing matters, and the best way to do that is to constantly reaffirm them. Tell people they are making a difference, tell them how honored you feel to have them on your team, tell them the team needs them, tell them you love them and appreciate their service, sacrifice and friendship. Tell the team often that you can’t believe God saw fit to bless you with this group of people. People need to know that what they are doing is making a difference and as the team leader you must be the person telling them.

·       Take time to do the same exact thing I just talked about, except do it in writing. Thank you cards, a letter, an email, a gift of some kind with a thank you note. Buy someone a great book that you know may speak to something going on in their lives. The key to this, you have to know what’s going on in their lives, which is Relational Leadership 101!

·       Appreciate your leaders! At least three or four times a year we have leadership dinners or events. Take that opportunity to speak into your leadership team lives. Go through each leader and speak to what they mean to you and how you couldn’t do what you do without them. My team actually turned that around on me one year and made me listen while they spoke into my life. It was a blessing beyond words. Buy a special gift for your team members. Something personal that speaks to how much you love and appreciate them. Take time for private dinners and lunch’s with your core team members because those private times build the relationship further.

·       Make sure you’re there for your core team when they need you!!! When there’s sickness or death in their families, don’t send someone else, you go. When there’s a struggle in a marriage or family, you the leader, need to make sure they get the help they need. When someone on your core team needs you for something you really don’t want to do, do it anyway. When your leaders do something great, praise them big time, when they make a mistake that causes big time problems, love them and support them the same way you did when they were tearing it up. Nothing will do more to build this kind of team than them knowing you will stand by them no matter what.

·       Do fun stuff with your team. The team shouldn’t always just meet for ministry stuff. Have parties with fun stuff where you don’t even talk about the ministry. Gather together for football games, go to a movie together, have a BBQ, or anything else that will have your team just hanging out building deeper friendships. For example; I do the Pay Per View Ultimate Fighting Championship fights at my house all the time, and part of my team always comes. The crazy like me part of course. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do something.

·       Make sure you listen to your team. Your team needs to know you care what they have to say. Even though you won’t always do what they want, they need to know you always hearing what they have to say. Make sure everyone on your team feels like what they’re doing matters. There will be times when you use someone’s idea even though it’s not what you would have done, because you trust them enough to believe they may know something you don’t. Build a team that is that close, and you will have more amazing ideas heading you way than you will know what to do with. This works because when you build a team that has gotten that close; you’ll know God has placed them there for a reason.

 

5 Questions With John Atkinson Pt. 4

We’re continuing our discussion of Relational Leadership this week with John Atkinson.  You can read the other posts here: introduction, Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Question #4: What about people who aren’t naturally relational in nature- can they still lead in a relational way?

John’s Response: There may be people who just don’t have the skills to lead relationally, but my question would be, is it smart to have someone in a leadership role in the Church if they don’t have people skills. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be serving and helping change lives as an active part  the Church, but should that person be leading a group of people. I have never seen a great leader who wasn’t relational. Are there exceptions, probably, but I think they are most likely that, exceptions.

What do you think about this?  Are you a relational leader?  Can someone who’s not naturally relational lead in a relational way?  

 

5 Questions With John Atkinson Part 3

We’re continuing our discussion of Relational Leadership this week with John Atkinson.  You can read the other posts here: introduction, Part 1, and Part 2.  Here we go!

Question # 3: How Important is Relational Leadership In Coaching?

John’s Response? Relational leadership is very important in coaching because by its nature it creates trust, and trust is the key to empowerment. You’re not really coaching if you’re teaching people to lead, but then not empowering them to do it. But here’s the reality all leaders live with, we know ultimately that the buck stops with us, and that we’re responsible for everything that happens in the ministries were called to lead, so the only way you can empower leaders with the level of trust you need, is to build strong enough relationships with them that your comfortable with their integrity, character, and leadership abilities. If you will spend the time necessary building strong relationships, you will be comfortable empowering your team to lead. Does it always turn out perfect, of course not, but because it will more often than not, it’s worth whatever you have to deal with when it doesn’t.

Here’s why Relational Leadership works. Because you have spent the time needed to really care for and love your leaders, they won’t do a great job because their supposed to, they’ll do a great job because they want to. That is absolutely critical when leading a volunteer organization. But here’s where relational leadership can break down. Any one person can only manage a certain amount of relationships in the way we’re talking about, so Relational Leadership is not only leading your core group relationally, it’s teaching them to lead their groups relationally too. For example; I started with 8 small groups and quickly grew it to 25 and everything seemed to be working well. Then the ministry doubled and grew to 50 groups, which translated to 50 group leaders. I soon realized the second 25 groups weren’t as healthy as the first 25 groups, and the first 25 groups weren’t as healthy as they used to be. Why, because I had stretched myself too thin relationally. There is no way you can build the kind of relationships you need to make this system work if your group is too large. Moving forward from that I started what we call Hometeams Coordinators. Each Coordinator oversees 20 groups, and their job is to build the same kind of relationships I’ve built with them, with their 20 group leaders. When the system is set up like this, relational leadership continues through all aspects of the ministry. Each of these Coordinators leads their groups as if they were the small group pastors of a small church with 20 groups. In short, I have built enough trust in this team, that I’m willing to empower them to lead.

Thanks John, great insights!  Your thoughts?

 

 

5 Questions With John Atkinson Pt. 2

We’re continuing our discussion of relational leadership with John Atkinson.  You can read the introduction here, or Part 1 here.

Question #2: What are the keys to relationship building within a team?

John’s Response:When we first met our wives or husbands we didn’t instantly know we were going to marry them. We began spending time with them and getting to know them until a deeper relationship was built that led to a marriage. It took time to get to know someone well enough that we were willing to spend our lives with them. It’s the same with leading relationally. As leaders we must build a core group of leaders and spend enough time with them that we begin to think and act like a family.  A family loves one another, cares for one another, protects on another, and they will fight for one another. Ministry is a battle against the forces of the Enemy, a team acting and leading like a family, is an opponent to be reckoned with. When that kind of trust is built in a team, you have a force to carry out the vision God has given you.  

Your Thoughts?

 

5 Questions With John Atkinson Part 1

If you missed my introduction to John Atkinson, you can read that here.  Today we’re starting a series of posts answering 5 questions about Relational Leadership.  Please follow along this week and contribute to the conversation with your thoughts, ideas, etc, and invite your friends who are in a leadership position to stop by and join the conversation.  Okay, with all that said, here we go!

Question # 1: What is relational leadership?

John’s Response: Relational leadership is leading like Jesus modeled for us in Matthew 20:26-28. Jesus’ model was based on love and service, not on rules and regulations. Leading relationally means investing your life into a group of leaders God has placed under you. This isn’t a superficial investment; it’s pouring your life into a group of leaders that you need to help you change the world for Jesus Christ. If you will pour your heart and your life into a group of leaders, they’ll say yes when you ask them to join you in taking on Hell with water pistols.

 ²⁶ But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. ²⁸ For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28 NLT

That is what Relational Leadership is, but it’s also important to know what Relational Leadership is not. Relational Leadership is not letting a group of people run all over your leadership because you want them to like you. It’s not letting people fail at their jobs because you love them too much to tell them they’re failing. It’s not accepting mediocrity in any form because you’re afraid you’ll hurt someone you love if you confront them. There is a difference between having relationships with people, and leading relationally. The difference is, Relational Leadership must be led by Leaders.

 

3.5 years to live…

Greg Ogden, in his excellent book Transforming Discipleship, throws out a concept that has stuck with me since I’ve read it: What if you were to live your life as if you only had three and a half years to live? He draws this idea from the life of Jesus, and shows how we would think differently, invest differently, etc, if we knew we only had a limited amount of time.  What if you knew you only had 3 and a half years to live?  What choices would you make day one?  Who would you spend time with?  Where would you invest your money?  What things which seem so pressing today would merely fade into oblivion as the things of true importance are revealed?  Here’s how it might look for me (this is by no means deeply thought out, these are just preliminary thoughts:

• I’d work my hardest to help my wife understand how much she means to Jesus.  I’m not going to be around forever, but He will, and she needs to know she can depend completely on Him once I’m gone.  I need to love my wife sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church.
• I’d pour into my boys like never before.  I’d take them and do a bunch of crazy fun things.  I’d work my way through the Dangerous Book for Boys.  I’d model for them the unconditional love of the Father to the best of my abilities.  I’d teach them what to look for in a wife and how to treat her when they find her.  I’d talk to them about purity and being a great influence on the people around them.  I’d stress the importance of giving beyond themselves to help others.  Most importantly, I’d teach them to trust completely in Christ, to learn from His Word, and to stay close to the heart of God no matter what the cost.
• I’d manage my money better and work hard to get completely out of debt so that my family would not have that financial burden.
• I’d invest in a handful of people that I felt would carry on in the work of the ministry.  I’d cherish my time with these people and give them everything I had.  I’d share their burdens and encourage them to be the leader God created them to be.  Jesus did this for 3.5 years in 12 men.  He had an inner circle of 3.  He gave everything He had to these men, depending on them and their obedience to the mission to spread the Gospel.  
• I’d do everything I could to help my church fulfill it’s mission, Leading People Into a Growing Relationship With Jesus Christ.
• I wouldn’t give a rip about what kind of house I live in or what kind of car I drive or how many channels I have on Dish- none of those things have even a hint of eternal importance.

So here’s the big idea: why should we wait until we have news that we only have 3.5 years to live to do these things?  What if you and I stepped back, looked at these things that rise to importance above all else, and did them now?  How would our families be different?  How would our jobs be different?  How would our churches be different?  How would the next generation be different?

For 2009 I’d love to take these things and treat them like I only have 3.5 years left to live.  I’m sure I’d get a huge return on investment.  I’d love to hear what you would do and your thoughts.

 

Friday Morning Thoughts…

Well, I’ve been in Chicago for 3 days now.  I’m sitting in a Starbucks in Aurora just collecting my thoughts getting ready to go look at neighborhoods and rental properties.  Here are a few things on my mind…

• I’ve really sucked at spending good quality time with God.  There.  I said it.  I know you never struggle with that but I have this week.  I have my journal and bible and prayer book but haven’t used them much.  I’ve let the hectic-ness of my week steal my time with Him.  I’m clearing my mind and going to have some serious time with my Father today and I’m really excited about it.
• I really miss my wife.  She is my partner, lover, best friend, confidant, the smartest person I know, and the one I’d rather spend time with than anyone else.  I’ve experienced some pretty amazing things the last few days and I wish she was here with me to experience them too.  She patiently listened this morning as I called her and told her all about yesterday.  She is one amazing person!
• I really miss my boys.  I have 2 absolutely incredible kids, and I just cannot believe I get to be their daddy.  I pray they both grow up loving God completely and loving others completely and using their lives to bless others in radical ways.  I want to hear them laugh and see their face and tickle them and get on to them for being too loud and just tell them all about this new place they will be moving to.  I’ll be there when you wake up Tuesday morning boys!!
• I love the weather here!
• Sometimes I feel like I’m a crappy dad.  Yeah, I said that too.  One thing that was ringing loudly in my ears yesterday was this statement by Craig Groeschel: “I’m not going to build an amazing church and lose my family.”  I want to spend more time with my wife and kids.  I want to learn to “turn it off (ministry stuff)” and give them my undivided attention.  I want my kids to think I’m the coolest, most-fun, understanding, patient, adventurous dad in the world, and I need to work harder at that… pray for me that I get my stuff together and be SO intentional with my boys.  I read this book and it convicted me while I read it and then I put it away and forgot about it.  Do you struggle with translating information into action like I do sometimes?
• Craig Groeschel is the real deal!  He is one of the most humble, approachable, passionate people I’ve ever met.
• I really want one of these.  Those of you who know me know I’m an avid reader.  If anyone feels led to buy me one of these that would be great!
• I got to meet Andy Stanley yesterday!  He is someone I REALLY respect and yes, I felt like a buffoon… 
• I am SO blessed that I got to work with Dennis and the team at SBC for the last several years.  It’s been awesome in talking to people about our story and explaining that I’m leaving a GREAT church and a GREAT situation-  I’m so excited about hearing what God continues to do through that body.  I miss you guys already!  Thanks for giving me a place to be real!  
• I’m SO excited about the Orchard!  The people have been incredible and they are so excited about leveraging their lives for missional living in this community and around the world.  Scott is an incredible vision-caster (I think that’s one of his strongest giftings) and I just can’t wait to see what God will do through this group of self-less people!
• I got to meet Andy Stanley yesterday!
• This Sunday Scott is continuing in the INKED series with a pretty frank discussion about something most churches don’t talk about.  Come Saturday night or Sunday morning if you’re in the area- you DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!!  And, there’s gonna be a teaser for something that will leave you ready to come back the next week, I guarantee it!!
• I don’t know how to put a section on my blog that shows my twitter updates, so if you know how, please tell me!
• Did I mention that I got to meet Andy Stanley yesterday?  Just thought I’d let you know!  Hope to chat with him again and not be a buffoon.

Okay, enough rambling.  I need to go look at houses.  I’m blessed.  I’m a wreck.  I’m loved by God.  I love by my family.  I’m excited to be in a scary journey following God.  Thanks for journeying with me!

 

My wife’s thoughts on our journey…

Annette has a post tonight about our journey to Chicagoland.  You can read it here! (yes, she’s smarter and more insightful than me so it’s definitely worth reading!)