You know those people that seem to have everything figured out? You know, the ones who know exactly what they are supposed to do every step of the way in their lives? The ones who know every next step and follow “the plan” precisely?
That’s not me. I have spent most of my life uncomfortable. I think anytime I start feeling comfortable I do something to insert chaos into the equation. Maybe it keeps it lively. Maybe it keeps things interesting. Maybe it’s immaturity. Call it what you will.
I envy my friends that work the same job for 10-15 years. That have great stability. That walk out of meetings and don’t second-guess what they said, don’t over-analyze every conversation. I envy the ones that seem to say the right things at all the right times. The ones who are able to speak well at both services and not just the second one.
I’m glad I’m who I am. I’m glad I’m who God made me to be. But I’m one of those people that lay in bed at night and can’t sleep, thinking about my next step, how I can be better at what I do, how I can honor those in authority over me better, how I can be a better husband and father, better lover of God, etc. For what it’s worth I went to bed an hour or more ago. I’m up again.
I sometimes think I wish I were more content with everything. But in my heart I know God has wired me this way to spur change when necessary, both in me and in those around me. I know He uses me in ways I can’t imagine. I wish I could be content with that!
How about you? Are you unsettled? Are you discontent? Why do you think that is? What do you need to change and why?